Basic Principles On How To Deal With Bullying

By Nelda Powers


Bullying is a common problem that we have to deal with once in a while. Some of us have had to face off with bullies over a long period of time while for others it may just be an occasional problem. Bullying is defined as the habitual use of aggression to gain power over others. It also entails using coercion, threats, abuse and intimidation. Such behaviour is usually directed towards specific targets. The behaviour can often be explained by differences in race, religion, gender, class, size, strength among others. To deal with bullying, movements have been created and laws made, all in a bid to combat the rising suicide cases among teenagers.

The vice is broadly divided into three types. These include physical, emotional and verbal abuse. Each of these categories may be accompanied by violence, coercion, intimidation, insults or physical violence. There is a disproportionately high number of emotional abuse cases in females compared to their male counterparts. In the males, the predominant type is the physical abuse. Mockery is used almost equally in both sexes. It is frequently used when the victim resembles the opposite sex in their physical appearance or when they have any other physical disability or abnormality.

This act can also be categorised into direct and indirect. The direct form involves using force as in shoving, pushing, biting, kicking, pulling and so forth. The indirect type which is also known as social aggression entails trying to isolate the victim. This is made possible through spreading negative publicity concerning the target.

What exactly is the motive behind this kind of aggressive behaviour? Studies indicate that most bullies are weak at heart and would rather disguise their weakness by forcing it on others. Such people lack self esteem or may have been gone through the same a similar experience at some point in their life. Others learn this act from people that are close to them.

One of the other common causes of this undesirable behaviour is a personality disorder. The common forms of personalities seen are temperamental, obsessive or an excessive concern about a self-image. If they are of school attending age, they usually perform rather poorly compared to their colleagues. Within a social group, they want to be regarded with fear and respect.

There are many negative effects associated with this problem including depression and a feeling of loneliness. The victims also have their self-esteem lowered markedly and start to lose interest in life activities. In extremes, it may lead to post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. The victims become bitter and may themselves become violent in future. If one manages to stand up to a bully, they gain a lot of respect in return.

There are many programs that one can enrol in if their children are being bullied by other children. The same can also be used by teachers and other persons who are responsible for the welfare of children. Peer counselling programs are now available in many places and have been shown to be very helpful to the victims and those who support them.

To deal with bullying, learn to adopt a defensive approach. Do not feel inferior to the perpetrator as this will only make them stronger over you. Ensure that you remain confident when your bully approaches and let them know that you are not an easy target.




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