The 3 Phases To Reclaiming The Relationship With Your Ex-Girlfriend Or Wife

By Alex Peters


The emotional pain and torment of a breakup can be difficult on even the toughest guys. You would probably prefer physical pain over what you may be going through. At least you would have some sort of idea of how quickly you would heal and a doctor could tell you what to do to speed the process. The torment comes from knowing exactly what will end your pain. If your girlfriend or wife would simply give you a second chance then the path to healing would be simple. You would have something to do. You would have a goal and you would come up with a plan to bring the two of you back together again.

Whether you were married to the woman that you love or she was just your girlfriend, the pain is no different. The healing process and the process of restoring your relationship should also be no different. Women are women and whether you had a piece of paper saying that you would be together forever or not, there was probably a time when both of you said or wished that you would be together until the end of time. Getting over your pain, rebuilding your self-confidence and getting her back will be the same no matter if we are talking about a wayward wife or girlfriend. It also doesn't matter what is going on in her life. It doesn't matter if she is with some other guy or not. You will see that these methods which are loosely based upon what is suggested to get a combat soldier through stress will help you to get your ex back more quickly than you might otherwise think.

First, you are going to process your emotions and in a very matter of fact manner you're going to run through everything that happened. This is called a debriefing. You can be upset all you want beforehand but as soon as you have time you are going to sit yourself down and in a factual manner, recount what happened in the past. You're going to discuss what you did wrong, what you would have done differently as well as what your ex did to you. You're going to put it all in the past and learn from your mistakes.

Putting events of the past where they belong is important. Often we try to fix things by reliving the past. We mourn the loss and beat our self up wishing that we had done things differently. We can't go back. We can only go forward. There should be a certain freedom that you will feel once you decompress and debrief from what happened. There's nothing you can do about the past other than to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes again.

Next comes the rebuilding process. There should be rest and relaxation after you go through a stressful situation. It is time to celebrate that you survived what you went through. You will live to fight another day. You will get your second chance but only once you have regained your strength and and you have a positive attitude. You might have to blow off a little steam first. This means doing things that will make you happy.

Avoid the temptation to go out and get drunk with your friends. This might be what your friends suggest but more often than not, alcohol will depress you and make you slide back into the mourning process. You will be tempted to contact your ex. Your mind will play tricks on you and you might be tempted to call your ex to let them know that you're doing well or that you still love them. Resist this temptation and put some distance between you and your girlfriend or wife. Go for a short trip or spend a weekend away from your home town. Find a place that is serene or which distracts you from everything that happened before, during and after your breakup. Getting away from the things that remind you about your ex is important right now.

When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.

At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.




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